Reflections on keeping sane

Back to work today after a peaceful and restorative camping trip in southern Oregon. As the trip approached I noticed more and more how full of words, fragments and looping nonsense my mind is. My intention for the vacation was to simply DROP IT all and BE in the present moment. To savor every drop of the experience. It was phenomenal and I want more!

The closer to Portland we got on the drive back - as soon as we entered more familiar landscape along the Dalles-California Highway - I noticed some of that mental chatter begin to pop up. All of the WORDS I began to see everywhere from billboards and commercial enterprise after commercial enterprise, stirred it up. But I'm managing to still hold on to the centeredness, serenity, groundedness and presence I felt throughout our vacation.

As I observe my thoughts I notice much of the mental noise is imagined what-if scenarios and responses to them, imaginary conversations and narrative planning. Is this insanity or what is becoming of the mighty human mind as a result of our utterly disconnected from nature existence? I guess I'm as sane as the next person so I tend to see this type of thinking as an attempt to alleviate the anxiety of not knowing how it will all unfold. Life that is. So we hold desperately onto the little stuff, trying to make it all just right. It's impossible so we struggle, endlessly and unnecessarily.

Fur Free Friday 2010

Today I marched in the Fur Free Friday demonstration in downtown Portland. Justin had to make soap all day today but I rode the bus into the city and stood alongside 200 or so other compassionate individuals dedicated to acting up on behalf of the 50 million beings who each year are bred and slaughtered in some of the most gruesome conditions imaginable so that sickeningly selfish and obtuse people can wear their furs.

Practicing Patience

Some wise soul said “Patience is a virtue” and after years of deliberate practice it is now abundantly clear to me why. In our super-fast, win-or-die goal-oriented Western culture we so easily forget that life is a journey, rather than a competition or race toward some end prize. The true prizes are to be found along the way, but if we’re caught up in a cyclone of “busyness” it’s hard to really see and receive the wisdom and joy to be gleaned along the way.

Autumn roses, the Pittock legacy and the spirit of Portland

Last week in a warm gusty day the sun and earth aligned just so; the autumnal equinox

Among my favorite places to visit in Portland is the Pittock Mansion. Another of my favorites, this time photographic subjects, are flowers. These roses are from the garden at the Pittock Mansion. I'd like to imagine they may be some of the very plants that sparked the Rose Festival, a Portland tradition Georgiana Pittock is credited with originating.

A dynamic and community minded couple, the Pittocks played major roles in the development of Portland's spirit. Henry Pittock took ownership of the Weekly Oregonian in 1860, changing its format to the daily paper we read today. He was also one of the first to ascend Mount Hood and he ultimately built a large commercial empire that included everything from real estate to mining. Georgiana helped carve a way for women's independence in the early days of the Rose City. She helped found the Ladies Relief Society in 1867, whose Children’s Home provided care, food, and shelter for needy children. Georgiana also worked with the Woman’s Union, and played a key role in building the Martha Washington Home for single, working women.

And I think of my dynamic couple-ship - the mufftastic Siosal union. What we intend to create -

Legacy - a noun; as in a legacy from a great aunt

A legacy or bequest, inheritance, heritage, endowment, gift, patrimony, settlement, birthright;

formally, benefaction.

Questions for the Universe

Often in meditation I go inward seeking an answer or clue to a question that thinking will not deliver. As I close my eyes on this earth,  my inner eyes open into the universe. All around me stretching forever, trillions of stars sparkle like diamonds against velvet and fiery, milky galaxies bob in the myriad dimensions. I let words go and slip into mystery, I am a soul poised to take flight, heading out into the real information superhighway in search of pure knowing.

To blog, or not to blog

As the number of weeks and then months increased since I last made an entry on this blog, I began to question why I started this blog to begin with, and what I wanted out of the experience.

Growth

As I approach my birthday and the end of 2009 I am in awe at the profound transformation that has quietly (and sometimes not so quietly) breathed through my life this year. Last December I never would have guessed that in 12 months I'd be back in Portland and an entrepreneur bringing to life several creative projects. As I survey my somewhat unexpected harvest from the year, I come to this blog, which I'd begun as a kind of annex to my freelance writing business as well as an avenue to discuss the things that are important to me, and share some creative work.

I knew I wanted to be here but wasn't exactly sure all that it was going to entail. The most surprising thing required was to simply endure great stretches of what felt like nothingness, doldrums, being stuck.  Frustrating patches of time where nothing seemed to be moving forward. Mostly what I needed to do was relax and allow many ideas and perspectives of the past fall away, making room for new energies and opportunities to enter my life and take root.